As a white, cis, hetero individual, I live my life in a privileged body. Today, I’m sharing five ways I’ve made mistakes over the years specific to being a white ally to Black Indigenous People of Color (BIPOC). Yes, it’s uncomfortable, but you can’t do the work without getting uncomfortable. If you are a white, white-passing, or non-black person, please read on. You may recognize yourself in some of the points referenced below. It’s crucial that we continue the work of doing better!
*Using the phrase, “I don’t see color.” Or, “I am “colorblind” when it comes to race.” …these phrases suggest that skin color and race/ethnicity other than white is inherently problematic and needs to be overlooked. Which is completely untrue. What is true, is that seeing skin color means you see the systemic oppression that BIPOC face on a daily basis, and that you acknowledge your white privilege and fragility. When you see skin color, it also means you can also see the complexities of racial issues and the historical context or history that BIPOC have experienced.
*Denying my white privilege…many years ago, I did not see or understand how being white gave me the benefit of the doubt, made me more likely to get the interview or the job. I thought that “racism was over,” and all people could have the same rights and opportunities afforded anyone else. My skin color was not (and is not) something that was making my life harder.
*That saying, “Hey girl,” to a person of color is offensive. This was a big whoops for me, for a long time. “Hey girl,” was my standard go-to “friendly” greeting. The words, “girl,” and “boy” was used by slave owners as a way to dehumanize slaves. Using these terms continue this stereotype
*That asking a Person of Color, “How can I do better?” is actually not okay. Asking a POC to explain to you what or why something is racist, or how to be anti-racist, or unloading on them your feelings of guilt about your privilege is asking them to go through the emotional labor of educating you and/or comforting you from your white fragility. This cannot be their burden to carry for you, and it cannot be their job to fight racism.
*Being afraid of saying the wrong thing, so saying nothing at all. Don’t let fear stand in the way of working toward being anti-racist. BIPOC don’t have time to wait for us to stand up with them while we wait until we aren’t afraid anymore. (And staying silent is privilege that I, as a white person have, but BIPOC certainly don’t have that privilege). It’s also part of white fragility, which is another area of work to do). Listen, you’re probably going to mess up sometimes or get things wrong. Own it, sit with your embarrassment, and then vow to do better, and keep seeking out resources on how to be an ally to BIPOC, and how to keep checking your privilege.
My perspective on this is that I’ve been doing the work for some years now, but I’m not done, and probably won’t ever be done. There are still times that I notice myself needing to check my blinders or my biases, and noticing that I might be unknowingly making some assumptions that are harmful to BIPOC. I still mess up, and I still get things wrong. But again, staying silent because I’m afraid to get it wrong actually perpetuates systemic racism, and makes me both complicit and continuing to be a part of the problem. Below, I’ve linked resources on how to take action